I am sitting here with many thoughts running through my mind...do I write about the gun laws or about mentally unstable, or maybe about impending disaster of the fiscal cliff. Yet for all these thoughts, I keep going back to another thought, What am I thankful for this Season?
I admit it is not as exciting as the other 'News'. We as a people immediately prepare to argue and debate over the laws of our freedoms including the right to keep and bear arms. We love to fight over who has the moral high ground where fiscal spending and waste is concerned. Now we even are throwing into the debates the care or lack there of for mentally unstable persons. We point fingers and throw judgements around at each other as if we were sure that we had the truth and righteousness on our side, but do we? Does it matter? Is this what is really important? Honestly?
So then I sat down and began thinking about what should be important...God, Family, Friends, Neighbors, Country. I thought about what was going right, you know what was good in my life. My ability to get up in the morning and go to work. The fact that I had work to actually go to. My beautiful wife who loves me even when I am not lovable. My children who still love me when I fuss at them all the time and do not spend the time I should with them. These are blessings. Then I thought about other blessings that came to me...like God bringing a family in need to me that we could bless with gifts during the Christmas holiday. He even provided us the extra funds for those gifts. We did not plan on a trip to visit the family but went and Father met our needs for that trip. My parents lost their puppy and although 'I' tried to find a dog for them I couldn't. Yet when it was time he had one waiting and provided it. He also provided one for my wife's mom who needed it. I did not understand, "why can't I find a dog for my parents?" I wasn't waiting on my God. He already had one. He covered everything. He took care of all our needs and ensured we were safe on the way home in the rain, sleet, and snow. It was a long trip but we made it safely home because Father held us in his hand.
Then I looked back even further and saw friends whom I was blessed with being able to help with cars, money, food, clothing, and other blessings that Father brought my way. I did not understand at the time nor do I even understand everything that he accomplished. I don't need to and I am content to know that I at least tried to be obedient some of the days. I am not perfect and was not obedient in all things. I was stiff necked and hard headed most of the days, yet on those days that I did obey Father was able to use me to help others.
So perhaps this will be the REAL question, what will be your New Years resolution this year? Will it be to Lose Weight? Or to stand up for your Rights? or to ensure that No One has Assault Weapons? Or maybe just maybe we should start this year as the year we stand up for One Another! The Year We open ourselves to our Father's will and allow him to truly Guide our walk. I know that I have yet to reach that pinnacle but am going to attempt to climb that mountain, anyone going to come along?
Friday, December 28, 2012
Written on Dec 18, 'Father is the Path to Healing'
While thinking about the latest post, Father put upon my heart that it was not complete. That I had not truly covered the topic of discussion. You see although I cannot even come close to the horror of understanding the loss of a child, I have other demons that I have endured for more than 40 years due to my own choices. 2 years ago, I would not have written this, however today I am free to do so ...because I know that Father loves me and has loved me even when I THOUGHT he did not.
As I stated I cannot even imagine the horror of losing a child. However, I have known the nightmare of molestation as a child. Some of my first memories are as a 4 year old boy being molested by an uncle. This continued until 10 - 11 years of age. My uncle of course told me that this was all my fault and that I was a very bad boy. Me, I was too little to understand anything other than I was a rotten kid and God must hate me. My family took me to church every Sunday morning, and Sunday and Wednesday evenings. They told me that God loved me but I knew that was a lie. Where was he when I was being molested? Sound Familiar? At the age of approximately 13-14 I was again attacked this time by a youth minister....Where was God? Now I did hate him back. God was like Zeus. I cursed at him for not loving me and allowing this to happen to me. It took me 40 YEARS to understand that Father was there with me as a child. That he did not abandon me during those times. I had prayed and he had heard. He had been there the whole time and had held me close to him as a child.
I know that it is little consolation to know that the children are all being held closely by our Father and are sitting in his lap right now. Yet, that is truth. The question we each have to answer is which choice will I make; to hate God for allowing this to happen, or to accept that bad things will happen and we can look to God for healing. We may never understand the reason for the shooting in an elementary school. However, we can choose to love our Father and support each other. I pray that you will allow Father to work healing in your life now, not later. That it will not take you years to understand that our God is capable of healing all your hurt and pain.
Lastly, Father has a simple promise that may fit here. Ask and it shall be given, seek and ye shall find, knock and the door shall be opened. Ask and you shall be given peace, seek and you shall find the path through the pain, and knock and the door to the Father's presence will be open to you. I pray that this is your walk in the next few months.
As I stated I cannot even imagine the horror of losing a child. However, I have known the nightmare of molestation as a child. Some of my first memories are as a 4 year old boy being molested by an uncle. This continued until 10 - 11 years of age. My uncle of course told me that this was all my fault and that I was a very bad boy. Me, I was too little to understand anything other than I was a rotten kid and God must hate me. My family took me to church every Sunday morning, and Sunday and Wednesday evenings. They told me that God loved me but I knew that was a lie. Where was he when I was being molested? Sound Familiar? At the age of approximately 13-14 I was again attacked this time by a youth minister....Where was God? Now I did hate him back. God was like Zeus. I cursed at him for not loving me and allowing this to happen to me. It took me 40 YEARS to understand that Father was there with me as a child. That he did not abandon me during those times. I had prayed and he had heard. He had been there the whole time and had held me close to him as a child.
I know that it is little consolation to know that the children are all being held closely by our Father and are sitting in his lap right now. Yet, that is truth. The question we each have to answer is which choice will I make; to hate God for allowing this to happen, or to accept that bad things will happen and we can look to God for healing. We may never understand the reason for the shooting in an elementary school. However, we can choose to love our Father and support each other. I pray that you will allow Father to work healing in your life now, not later. That it will not take you years to understand that our God is capable of healing all your hurt and pain.
Lastly, Father has a simple promise that may fit here. Ask and it shall be given, seek and ye shall find, knock and the door shall be opened. Ask and you shall be given peace, seek and you shall find the path through the pain, and knock and the door to the Father's presence will be open to you. I pray that this is your walk in the next few months.
Written Dec 18, Christ the Truth of the Season
So here we are in the middle of the Holiday Season. Yes, I am using the politically correct wording so as to not offend those who are reading this at the beginning. Because I would hate for them not to continue reading when I state that Christ truly was born into this world and walked as a man among us. Was it on December 25th? Well, no one truly knows for sure. And if you wish to celebrate his birthday at another time then that is okay with me. I do not nor will I hold that against you. As a Christian, I choose this time to celebrate along with many others the true meaning of Christmas, and that is this; the Gift from our Father of His one and only Son, Jesus. Who was there in the beginning, see Genesis chapter 1 and John chapter 1 for confirmation of this. That is, if you accept that the Bible is God's revealed Word. Jesus was born into the world to save man from himself. Yes, I said that...Jesus was born into the world to save man from himself. We are and always have been a carnal being. We each of us have within us the ability to do great good and kindness, but we also have the seeds of great evil and death. From the beginning it was so. Adam and Eve fell almost immediately doing exactly what they were told not to. Then Cain slew his brother. Jacob was wrestling with Esau before they left the womb. We have had wars on the world scale for thousands of years.
We desire, we lust, we covet what others have and are jealous because we do not have. We say, "it isn't fair." Or life's not fair. Really? Who are you or I to say what is fair? Did I design the earth? Or set the stars in the sky? Or did I plan out the design of a hummingbird? Can I count the hairs on my own head?
Let's get closer to home. What about Friday's attack on the School? Was that fair? No. Were those children taken too soon? I would say so, but I did not make the plan of my Father. He is the one who makes the plan. Did He put the gun in that man's hand? NO. Did he tell him to shoot all those children? NO. Satan did that just as he told Eve to eat the apple. So how do you get past this? Prayer, for the families and talking with God. The families have to decide if they will be mad at God for allowing this to happen and be angry. Or will they allow Father to help them heal. The PTSD and my own childhood taught me that much (40 years is too long a time to wait to get peace).
As for Christmas, well perhaps this event will open our eyes to the needy and suffering of others living close to us that we pass by every day but never even see. We do not see because we do not want to see, and we do not know because we do not want to know. If we see and know then we are responsible for them, but if we are 'blind' to others pain and suffering then we can tell our Father on that day that we just were not aware...right? Sorry, I sometimes say we when I mean me. I know that like Paul I am chiefest of sinners in all things. It just pains me to know that some blame God for this and it is our own fault for telling Him to leave us alone. We want to wear our big boy pants and do this on our own like the prodigal son until something really bad happens and then we scream out, "Where were you?"
For those who love Him and know Him, the answer is, "Right here. I have always been Right here with you. I will never leave you."
So I wish you all a Merry Christmas and hope that this year you will reach out to someone needy to lend a helping hand ensuring they have a Merry Christmas and perhaps learn what Christmas is really about.
We desire, we lust, we covet what others have and are jealous because we do not have. We say, "it isn't fair." Or life's not fair. Really? Who are you or I to say what is fair? Did I design the earth? Or set the stars in the sky? Or did I plan out the design of a hummingbird? Can I count the hairs on my own head?
Let's get closer to home. What about Friday's attack on the School? Was that fair? No. Were those children taken too soon? I would say so, but I did not make the plan of my Father. He is the one who makes the plan. Did He put the gun in that man's hand? NO. Did he tell him to shoot all those children? NO. Satan did that just as he told Eve to eat the apple. So how do you get past this? Prayer, for the families and talking with God. The families have to decide if they will be mad at God for allowing this to happen and be angry. Or will they allow Father to help them heal. The PTSD and my own childhood taught me that much (40 years is too long a time to wait to get peace).
As for Christmas, well perhaps this event will open our eyes to the needy and suffering of others living close to us that we pass by every day but never even see. We do not see because we do not want to see, and we do not know because we do not want to know. If we see and know then we are responsible for them, but if we are 'blind' to others pain and suffering then we can tell our Father on that day that we just were not aware...right? Sorry, I sometimes say we when I mean me. I know that like Paul I am chiefest of sinners in all things. It just pains me to know that some blame God for this and it is our own fault for telling Him to leave us alone. We want to wear our big boy pants and do this on our own like the prodigal son until something really bad happens and then we scream out, "Where were you?"
For those who love Him and know Him, the answer is, "Right here. I have always been Right here with you. I will never leave you."
So I wish you all a Merry Christmas and hope that this year you will reach out to someone needy to lend a helping hand ensuring they have a Merry Christmas and perhaps learn what Christmas is really about.
Written on Dec 13, 'Stop Whining'
Last night on the drive home, I was thinking about work. Seems that is most of what I do...or I am feeling angry a lot about work; or some situation that seems important to ME. It's a loooong drive from Austin to Belton and Father decided he had listened to enough of my continual drival. My walk had been moving further away from God lately and less focused on spiritual things. I was not writing for Father nor chronicling as I am led to do....always to busy, or whining about my own frustrations. Father led me to understand this, "I put you where you are for a purpose. You are there until I decide to send you somewhere else. Quit Whining! Stand and Show Yourself The Man. Rejoice in suffering and know that in your weakness; I show MY Strength. Did Joseph whine while spending years in prison? And what about Paul who was beaten, shipwrecked and stoned? What makes you better than my prophets of old who were hounded and murdered? Quit Whining and do what I ask of you!" This is what God placed upon my heart last evening.
Then, I saw all the things He has accomplished while I was here, and I understood more what my time here has been for. Sometimes, we do not know why we are placed into situations and do not understand the 'impossible' situations that we find ourselves in only to find that God was there with a plan that we never even could have hoped to accomplish on our own. I keep getting asked by everyone, even my own relatives, what I will be doing next (after this assignment) and I tell them, "I do not know." That is the honest truth. I know what I would like to be doing next but honestly; Belton, TX was not in my planned path and God brought me here for a reason. I did not want to come; sniveled and whined about being sent. Now, I am honestly glad he did. I have true Battle Brothers who I can call upon to listen when I need to openly confess to my childish behavior or other failings and whom I can stand beside when they are in need. I know that He has a plan for me somewhere after this. Do I know what it is? No, but I believe that he will open that door for me when he is ready. I do know that I will serve God, my family and those he places in my care to the best of my ability.
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